Friday 20th July 2018 - 13:38:07 

Jane And Arlene

 

Condoms, Jane and Arlene
...were outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts i t over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Condoms, Jane and Arlene
Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'

The pharmacist fainted.

This can save your bacon
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Quotes for Today:

Sometimes I drink my whiskey neat. Other times I take my tie off and leave my shirt out.
 


Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!
Conan O'Brien 


Strange how much you've got to know before you know how little you know.
 





The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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