Tuesday 16th October 2018 - 18:39:57 

Latest Report - Calories Used

 

It has been known for many years that SEX is a good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now, after original and proprietary research they are proud to present the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent...................... 12 Calories
Without her consent............... 187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand............................ 12 Calories
With your teeth........................... 85 Calories

PUTTING ON A PRESERVATIVE:
With an erection......................... 6 Calories
Without an erection................... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot......... .. 92 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary.............................. 12 Calories
69 lying down......................... 78 Calories
69 standing up....................... 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow.......................... 216 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories
Italian chandelier.................. 912 Calories

ORGASMING:
Real................................... 112 Calories
False.................................. 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately............... 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years old.................. 36 Calories
30-39 years......................... 80 Calories
40-49 years......................... 124 Calories
50-59 years......................... 972 Calories
60-69 years......................... 2916 Calories
70 and over......................... Results are still pending

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door............1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.............3521 Calories

Quotes for Today:

You can't get there from here.
 


Your failure to plan ahead does not make it my emergency!
 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

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