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Lawyers And Charity

 

A local United Way office realised that the organisation had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why the fcuk should I give any to you?"

Quotes for Today:

And remember...
Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 per cent probability you'll get it wrong.
 


Answer: Number 3 pencils and quadrille pads.
Question: What CAD tools he used to design the Cray I supercomputer
Seymoure Cray (1925-1996)  


Archaeologists have finally come up with an explanation as to why man eventually began walking upright. To free up their hands for masturbation.
 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

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