Tuesday 6th June 2023 - 16:00:52 

More Quotations


Men get laid, but women get screwed.
.....Quentin Crisp (English writer)

When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.
....Frederick Ryder

Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place.
....Billy Crystal

I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I, a microwave?
....Beverly Mickins

Do you know why God withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.
....Mrs. Patrick Campbell

Eventually, all men come out of the bathroom dressed as a majorette.
....Ernestyne White

A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times.
....Sanskrit proverb

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
....Jerry Seinfeld

We got new advice as to what motivated man to walk upright: to free his hands for masturbation.
....Jane Wagner

March isn't the only thing that's in like a lion, out like a lamb.

You know why God is a man? Because if God was a woman she would have made sperm taste like chocolate.
....Carrie Snow

Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last.
....Remy de Gourmant

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.
....H.L. Mencken

When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.
....Warren Farrell

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
....Lyndon B. Johnson

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
....Carrie Snow

God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

Quotes for Today:

And remember...
Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 per cent probability you'll get it wrong.

Answer: Number 3 pencils and quadrille pads.
Question: What CAD tools he used to design the Cray I supercomputer
Seymoure Cray (1925-1996)  

Archaeologists have finally come up with an explanation as to why man eventually began walking upright. To free up their hands for masturbation.

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself

The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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