Thursday 16th August 2018 - 07:59:35 

Mother-in-law Jokes

 

My mother-in-law is banned internationally from playing poker, as she keeps all the chips on her shoulder.



Adam and Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.



What is the difference between outlaws and in-laws? Outlaws are Wanted.



I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's chamber of horrors and one of the attendants said, 'Keep her moving sir, we're stocktaking.'



Fred and Rick were in a pub. Fred says to his mate, 'My mother-in-law is an angel.'



Rick replies, 'You're lucky. Mine is still alive.'



Overheard in a restaurant:
She: This wine is described as full bodied and imposing with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste.
He: Are you describing the wine or your mother?




Open Door Policy
The doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door, there was my mother-in-law on the front step.
She said, 'Can I stay here for a few days?'
I said, 'Sure you can.' And shut the door.



Newlywed Surprise
The newlywed wife, Monica, said to her husband , Nick, when he returned from work, 'I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two.'
Nick started glowing with happiness and kissing Monica purred, 'Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world.'
Monica smiled and added, 'I'm glad that you feel that way, Nick, because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us.'



Final Complaint
Tomorrow it's the mother-in-law's funeral...and she's cancelled it.



Paul: I was sorry to hear that your mother-in-law died. What was the complaint?
Phil: We haven't had any yet.



.

Quotes for Today:

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
Sir James M. Barrie  


Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
 


O' wad some god the gif tae gi us, tae see ourselves as others see us
 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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