New Living Will Form
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for
(please initial all that apply)
_________ a martini,
_________ a margarita,
_________ a beer,
_________ a steak,
_________ the remote control,
_________ a bowl of ice cream,
_________ a rum & coke,
it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.
Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own ###### business, and pay attention instead to the future of the millions who aren't in a permanent coma.