Thursday 22nd July 2021 - 08:09:10 

One For The Scots...


Tony Blair is opening a new hospital in Edinburgh. Some PR bright spark says it would be a good idea to get some snaps of Tony talking with some of the patients, so a consultant duly leads Tony onto the nearest ward.

Up at the first bed, the patient sits bolt upright in bed, grabs Blair's arm and says:
"Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, Wi' bickering brattle!"

Quickly onto the next bed where the patient stares Blair up and down and says:
"Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin-race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm:"

Finally the last bed where the patient, with eyeballs whizzing round and round says:
"Ha! whare ye gaun' ye crowlin ferlie? Your impudence protects you sairly;
I canna say but ye strunt rarely Owre gauze and lace,"

Blair has finally had enough and turns on the consultant: "It's a stitch up, you've brought me onto a psychiatric ward deliberately!"

"No," replies the consultant, "this is the Serious Burns Unit."

Quotes for Today:

He that will make a good use of any part of his life must allow a large part of it to recreation.
John Locke  

He used statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts; for support rather than illumination.
Andrew Lang (1844-1912) 

Hindsight is an exact science.

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself

The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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