One For The Scousers
The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool.
The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.
Hello mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."
"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters. All while you were having a great time."
The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry."
"Sorry?!" says his mum, "Sorry??!!" "It's your fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"