Wednesday 23rd June 2021 - 17:28:51 



Winston Churchill loved Paraprosdokians, which are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.

  1.   Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

  2.   The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.

  3.   Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

  4.   If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

  5.   We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

  6.   War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

  7.   Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  8.   They begin the evening news with "Good Evening," then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

  9.   To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

  10.   Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.

  11.   I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted pay-checks.

  12.   In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify: I put, "DOCTOR."

  13.   I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

  14.   Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

  15.   Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

  16.   A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

  17.   You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

  18.   Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

  19.   There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

  20.   I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

  21.   You're never too old to learn something stupid.

  22.   To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

  23.   Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

  24.   Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

  25.   Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

  26.   Where there's a will, there are relatives.

  27.   Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  28.   There but for the grace of God—goes God."

  29.   A modest man, who has much to be modest about. (allegedly referring to Clement Attlee)

  30.   You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing—after they have tried everything else.

  31.   I'm supposed to respect my elders, but nowadays it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one.

Etymology     Wikipedia
"Paraprosdokian" comes from Greek "παρά", meaning "against" and "προσδοκία", meaning "expectation". The term "prosdokia" ("expectation") occurs with the preposition "para" in Greek rhetorical writers of the 1st century BCE and the 1st and 2nd centuries CE, with the meaning "contrary to expectation" or "unexpectedly." These four sources are cited under "prosdokia" in Liddell-Scott-Jones, Greek Lexicon. Canadian linguist and etymology author William Gordon Casselman argues that, while the word is now in wide circulation, "paraprosdokian" (or "paraprosdokia") is not a term of classical (or medieval) Greek or Latin rhetoric, but a late 20th-century neologism, citing the fact that the word does not yet appear in the Oxford English Dictionary as evidence of its late coinage. However, the word appeared in print as early as 1891 in a humorous article in Punch magazine.

Quotes for Today:

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself

The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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