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Perks Of Being Over 50


  1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

  2. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

  3. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

  4. People call at 9 PM and ask, " Did I wake you?"

  5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

  6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

  7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

  8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M..

  9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

  10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

  11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

  12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

  13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

  14. You sing along with elevator music.

  15. Your eyes won't get much worse.

  16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

  17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

  18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

  19. Your supply of brain cells are finally down to manageable size.

  20. You can't remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Practice random acts of kindness, and senseless acts of beauty.

Quotes for Today:

The truth is out there? Does anyone know the URL?

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Edsgar Dijkstra 

The way a man wins shows most of his character. The way he loses shows all of it.

This can save your bacon


The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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