~ Jay Leno
The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
~ Henry Cate, VII
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.
~ Will Rogers
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
~ Nikita Khrushchev
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.
~ Author unknown
Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
~ John Quinton
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.
~ Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
~ Tex Guinan
I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
~Charles de Gaulle
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on Congressmen.