Ponderism - Simple Truths
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
SIMPLE TRUTH 2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say,
But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say, "Good job".
Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated."
Five Simple Rules to Remember in Life:
- Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
- Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.
- If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
- Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
- Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.
Bonus: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex.
A friend of mine was wearing one, when he was shot by the woman's husband.