Sunday 18th August 2019 - 05:41:16 

Ponderism - Simple Truths

 

SIMPLE TRUTH 1

Lovers help each other undress before sex.

However after sex, they always dress on their own.

Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.


SIMPLE TRUTH 2

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say,

"Congrats".

But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say, "Good job".

Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated."



Five Simple Rules to Remember in Life:
  1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.

  2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.

  3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

  4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

  5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.




Bonus: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex.

A friend of mine was wearing one, when he was shot by the woman's husband.

Quotes for Today:

It is not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It is the customer who pays the wages.
Henry Ford, US industrialist (1863-1947) 


It is not what they say about you, it’s what they whisper.
 


It is not what you say you are, but what you do that defines you.
 

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself
¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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