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Ponderisms For Seniors

 

  • I don't need anger management. I need people to stop ticking me off!

  • Old age is coming at a really bad time!

  • When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!

  • The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

  • Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!

  • I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights.” I'm very wise.

  • My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.

  • Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.

  • If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

  • The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes”.

  • I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.

  • When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people"?

  • Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... But it can muffle the sound!

  • Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

  • Lord, Give me patience and give it to me NOW.

  • Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

  • Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?

  • At my age "getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I was wanting!


Quotes for Today:

The years teach what the days never know.
Ralph Waldo Emerson 


There are no short cuts to any place worth going.
 


There are only 2 kinds of software, Beta and obsolete.
 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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