Ponderisms For Seniors
- I don't need anger management. I need people to stop ticking me off!
- Old age is coming at a really bad time!
- When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!
- The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
- Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!
- I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights.” I'm very wise.
- My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
- Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.
- If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
- The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes”.
- I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.
- When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people"?
- Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... But it can muffle the sound!
- Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
- Lord, Give me patience and give it to me NOW.
- Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
- Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
- At my age "getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I was wanting!