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Ponderisms Version: 003

 

Don’t ask me any questions. I’m making this up as I go

We do precision guesswork

Relax, it’s only ones & zeros

Guilt … the gift that keeps on giving

I tried to think but nothing happened

I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert

Budget: A method for going broke methodically

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive

Vacation is something you take when you can’t take what you’ve been taking any longer

When I met my wife I knew she was "Miss Right" … I didn’t know her 1st name was "Always"

My New Years Resolutions were giving up drinking, smoking & flirting … worst 10 minutes of my life

Show me a man with his head held high & I’ll show you a man having trouble with his bifocals

The reason there are 2 senators for each state is so that 1 can be the designated driver

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud." "Yes sir, it’s fresh ground."

You’re only young once but you can be immature forever

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? Roamin’ Catholic

Quotes for Today:

At the party last night, i asked every husband to go stand next to the person who made his life worth living... the bartender was almost crushed to death. :)
 


Bart, just remember, trying is the first step to failure.
Homer Simpson 


Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
 


¯\_(ツ)_/¯     ¯\_(ツ)_/¯




This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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