Ponderisms Version: 003

Don’t ask me any questions. I’m making this up as I go

We do precision guesswork

Relax, it’s only ones & zeros

Guilt … the gift that keeps on giving

I tried to think but nothing happened

I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert

Budget: A method for going broke methodically

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive

Vacation is something you take when you can’t take what you’ve been taking any longer

When I met my wife I knew she was "Miss Right" … I didn’t know her 1st name was "Always"

My New Years Resolutions were giving up drinking, smoking & flirting … worst 10 minutes of my life

Show me a man with his head held high & I’ll show you a man having trouble with his bifocals

The reason there are 2 senators for each state is so that 1 can be the designated driver

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud." "Yes sir, it’s fresh ground."

You’re only young once but you can be immature forever

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? Roamin’ Catholic