Saturday 18th August 2018 - 11:08:56 

Poposal For The New Emblem

 

Helen Clark today announced that she is changing our emblem from a black fern to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

Quotes for Today:

Beauty is equal parts flesh and imagination: we imbue it with our dreams, saturate it with our longings.
Nancy Etcoff, Survival of the Prettiest 


Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin 


Before eating the elephant one bite at a time, one must first get it out of the oven and onto the plate.
 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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