Precautions Before Sex

I was fooling around with a girl on her sofa after meeting her in a night club.

She said, "Wait! We need to take some precautions, what if I get pregnant"?

Being the male chauvinist person that I am, I quickly replied, "I'm way ahead of you, I gave you a fake number".

And the girl responded...

---

I was fooling around with a girl on her sofa after meeting her in a night club.

We were both getting very hot and she said, "I only believe in sex after marriage".

I said, "OK, phone me when you have a husband".

---

I was fooling around with a girl on her sofa after meeting her in a night club.

"Let's go up to the bedroom" she whispered

"No" I whispered back "My wife's up there"

---

I was fooling around with a girl on her sofa after meeting her in a night club.

I noticed she was rubbing her pussy with liquorice.

Apparently it's the only way she can orgasm.

It takes allsorts I suppose.

---

I was fooling around with a girl on her sofa after meeting her in a night club.

I said, "This is where the magic all happens, babe".

She said, "Oh really? I'm getting excited now".

So I said, "Yes. Pick a card..."

---

I was fooling around with a girl on her sofa after meeting her in a night club.

She said to me, "How far do you want to go with me"?

I said, "I'll walk you to the fish-shop round the corner, but then I'm going back home".

---

I was fooling around with a girl on her sofa after meeting her in a night club.

I fell fast asleep straight away...

I think i gave her the wrong drink :(