Monday 14th October 2019 - 12:57:03 

Precautions Before Sex

 

I was fooling around with a girl on her sofa after meeting her in a night club.

She said, "Wait! We need to take some precautions, what if I get pregnant"?

Being the male chauvinist person that I am, I quickly replied, "I'm way ahead of you, I gave you a fake number".

And the girl responded...





I was fooling around with a girl on her sofa after meeting her in a night club.

We were both getting very hot and she said, "I only believe in sex after marriage".

I said, "OK, phone me when you have a husband".





I was fooling around with a girl on her sofa after meeting her in a night club.

"Let's go up to the bedroom" she whispered

"No" I whispered back "My wife's up there"





I was fooling around with a girl on her sofa after meeting her in a night club.

I noticed she was rubbing her pussy with liquorice.

Apparently it's the only way she can orgasm.

It takes allsorts I suppose.





I was fooling around with a girl on her sofa after meeting her in a night club.

I said, "This is where the magic all happens, babe".

She said, "Oh really? I'm getting excited now".

So I said, "Yes. Pick a card..."





I was fooling around with a girl on her sofa after meeting her in a night club.

She said to me, "How far do you want to go with me"?

I said, "I'll walk you to the fish-shop round the corner, but then I'm going back home".





I was fooling around with a girl on her sofa after meeting her in a night club.

I fell fast asleep straight away...

I think i gave her the wrong drink :(

Quotes for Today:

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
 


It is not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It is the customer who pays the wages.
Henry Ford, US industrialist (1863-1947) 


It is not what they say about you, it’s what they whisper.
 

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself
¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

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