Thursday 30th June 2022 - 13:38:25 

Quotations

 

Quotes:

You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither." . . .Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." . . . Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." . . . Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Ferrari 360." . . . Lynn Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." . . . Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." . . . George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." . . . Sharon Stone

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." . . . Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." . . . Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." . . . Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." . . . Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." . . . Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" . . . Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked." . . . . Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house." . . . Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." . . . Robin Williams

Quotes for Today:

A recent survey, proved that 80% of the males in Liverpool had sex in the shower, the remaining 20% have not been in Prison yet
 


A smile confuses an approaching frown.
Author Unknown 


A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller 

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.


AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself
¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

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