Thursday 24th September 2020 - 20:49:30 

Selected Quotations

Famous & Inspirational Quotes

  • I still really miss my ex but my aim is getting better

  • I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
    Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairman of IBM, 1943 

  • I used to be Snow White... but I drifted

  • I wept because I had no shoes, until I saw someone who had no feet.
    Ancient Persioan saying 

  • I would advise anyone not to have sex before marriage as you might be late for the wedding.

  • I'd like to grow very old as slowly as possible.

  • I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters (and keyboards).
    Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959) 

  • I'm happy to report that it has been a couple of weeks since I had a cigarette and my desire to kill people is beginning to fade. Of course writing this has created an urge for a smoke...

  • I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
    Groucho Marx 

  • I’ve never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.” ~ Author

  • If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

  • If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough.
    Mario Andretti 

  • If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

  • If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

  • If random wit was easy then we wouldnt need Comedians.

  • If the going gets easier, you might be going downhill.

  • If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

  • If you can learn before hand then there is no need to waste time making mistakes.

  • If you can't be happy where you are, it's a cinch you can't be happy where you ain't.

  • If you don't find it in the Index,look very carefully through the entire catalogue.
    Consumer's Guide, Sears, Roebuck and Co. (1897) 

  • If you don't find it in the Index,look very carefully through the entire catalogue.
    Consumer's Guide, Sears, Roebuck and Co. (1897) 

  • If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.

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Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself

The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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