Sunday 26th January 2020 - 15:35:58 

Selected Quotations

Famous & Inspirational Quotes

  • When life hands u lemons, ask for Tequilla and salt!!

  • When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

  • When the sun comes up, I have morals again
    Elayne Boosler 

  • When women kiss it always reminds me of prize fighter shaking hands.

  • Whenever you are depressed and think that you've lost, remember you are the same sperm that once won the battle To survive among millions of your kind.

  • Why do men fart more than women?
    Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

  • Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
    Abigail Van Buren (1918 - ), 1978 

  • Wisdom is knowing what to do next. Skill is knowing how to do it. Virtue is doing it.
    Thomas Jefferson 

  • Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions.

  • Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no-one likes to have to keep one

  • Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall asleep afterwards.

  • Women will never be equal to men Until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

  • You can't get there from here.

  • Your failure to plan ahead does not make it my emergency!

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Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself

The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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