Tuesday 28th January 2020 - 01:37:30 

Selected Quotations

Famous & Inspirational Quotes

  • I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failure.
    Chief Justice Earl Warren 

  • I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.

  • I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

  • I am not young enough to know everything.
    Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) 

  • I deserve someone who likes me for who I am pretending to be.
    Arj Barker  

  • I do know everything, just not all at once. It's a virtual memory problem.

  • I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

  • I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

  • I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved.

  • I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
    Thomas Jefferson 

  • I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

  • I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

  • I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true - I no longer know how to use my telephone.
    Bjarne Stroustrup 

  • I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
    Harry Truman  

  • I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection. She pulled a switchblade on me.

  • I have noticed even people who claim everything is redestined and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.

  • I have recently realised that there is a case of 'You can take the Farang out of Sukhumvit, but you can't take Sukhumvit out of the Farang'

  • I intend to live forever. So far, so good ! :-)

  • I keep my spammed links as test subjects for my security studies.

  • I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.
    Elayne Boosler 

  • I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  • I sometimes wonder why I drink; I think that it's because I think.

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Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself

The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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