Red Skelton’s Recipe For A Perfect Marriage
- Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
- We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .
- I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
- I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
- We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
- She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
- My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
- She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
- She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!".
- Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
- I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
- I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
- The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word.
It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words,
"And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
Another good one from: Claude