Restaurant Customer Orders A Squid - Groaner
"Mais Certainement sir," says John-Baptiste the smarmy waiter. "Would you laahk to choose your squeed from ze tank over there?"
"I'll have that little green one with the moustache," says the customer.
"Mais Non!" Exclaims the waiter. "But he's the Chef's Favvoreet! 'E eez so small an' cute and friendlee. Surely Monsuier would prefer one ze the bigger, tastier ones non?"
"No," says the customer. "It's got to be that one".
So the waiter gets the little green squid out and takes him to the chef - Jervaise - who puts him on the chopping block, raises his knife and ... the little squid looks up and smiles, twitching his bushy moustache into a cute fluffy smile!
"It's no good' says Jervaise. "I can't do it. I'll have to ask Hans who does the washing up. He's a big, tough brute - he'll be able to do the evil deed'
Enter Hans: A massive bastard with tattoos all over his bare arms. Grunting, he takes the knife and pins down the wriggling squid while Jervaise bawls his eyes out in the corner of the kitchen. Hans raises the knife to chop the little squid's head off and ... once again the cute little squid looks up and smiles, wiggling his little tentacles and twitching his little 'tache. So Hans too finds it impossible to kill him.
Eventually the waiter is forced to go out to the customer and explain why he can't have that particular squid....
Well you see Monsuieur........ Ze Hans that does ze dishes is as soft as Jervaise with ze mild-green furry-lip squid.