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Retired Person's Perspective


  1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

  2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

  3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably unhappy.

  4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

  5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.

  6. I don't like making plans for the day....because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

  7. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,508 days in a row.

  8. I decided to change calling the bathroom "the John" and renamed it "the Jim". I feel so much better saying "I went to the Jim this morning".

  9. Dear paranoid people, who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one, what's your plan?

  10. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege. (just remember Einstein's comment, "There is a major difference between intelligence and stupidity; intelligence has its limits.")

Quotes for Today:

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.” ~
William Shakespeare, Othello 

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
George Bernard Shaw, Irish literary critic, playwright and essayist (1856-1950)  

The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion.
Gilbert Chesterton (1874-1936) 

This can save your bacon


The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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