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RTFM And Excerpts From The Manual

 

DEBUGGING : Removing the needles from the haystack.


A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things.
They are, in short, a perfect match.??
-Bill Bryson


Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.
Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop.
- Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary


"It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to BASIC; as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration."
-Dijkstra


"The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware type with a program patch and a user with an idea."
- The Wizardry Compiled_ by Rick Cook


"The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant.
This also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change."
- FORTRAN manual for Xerox computers


"C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg."
- Bjarne Stroustrup


"Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals."
- Henry Spencer


"Never put off until run time what you can do at compile time."
- David Gries, in "Compiler Construction for Digital Computers", circa 1969.


FORTRAN is not a language. It's a way of turning a multi-million dollar mainframe into a $50 programmable scientific calculator.


C is almost a real language. Even the name sounds like it's gone through an optimizing compiler. Get rid of all of those stupid brackets and we'll talk.


Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.


Programming is 10% science, 25% ingenuity and 65% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.


Science is to computer science as hydrodynamics is to plumbing.


We don't really understand it, so we'll give it to the programmers.


COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.


Computer interfaces and user interfaces are as different as night and 1.


The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten 10% of its capacity, the rest is overhead for the operating system.


A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken.


The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually the programmer.


Programming is an art form that fights back.


After a number of decimal places, who cares?


"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.


If at first you don't succeed, you must be a programmer.


"It's 5:50 a.m., Do you know where your stack pointer is?"


If God had intended humans to program, we would be born with serial I/O ports.


There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.


You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.


Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.


PL/1, "the fatal disease", belongs more to the problem set than to the solution set.


Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of APL, I shall fear no evil, for I can string six primitive monadic and dyadic operators together.


Programming is a lot like sex.
One mistake and you could have to support it the rest of your life.


Real programmers are surprised when the odometers in their cars don't turn from 99,999 to 99,99A.


BASIC programmers never die, they GOSUB and don't RETURN.
There are 10 types of people in this world.


Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Interviewer: "Is studying computer science the best way to prepare to be a programmer?"


"No, the best way to prepare is to write programs, and to study great programs that other people have written. In my case, I went to the garbage cans at the Computer Science Center and I fished out listings of their operating system."
- Bill Gates:


You can't make a program without broken egos.





Finally the Programmers Anthem

Title: Another Glitch in the Call (Sung to the tune of a Pink Floyd song)

We don't need no indirection
We don't need no flow control
No data typing or declarations
Did you leave the lists alone?

Hey! Hacker! Leave those lists alone!

Chorus:
All in all, it was, just a pure-LISP function call.
All in all, it was, just a pure-LISP function call.

This can save your bacon
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Quotes for Today:

The only stupid question is the question you don't ask.
 


The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.” ~
William Shakespeare, Othello 


The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
George Bernard Shaw, Irish literary critic, playwright and essayist (1856-1950)  


The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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