Rules To Live By Version 002
My reality check bounced.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious, wear a white coat and carry a clipboard.
I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.