Short Jokes And Some One Liners
Overheard in a hardware store...
Blond: Do you sell colour TV's?
Clerk: Yes we do
Blond: Have you got one in red?
What do you call a man with a toe made of rubber?
What is Santa’s Favourite Pizza? ..... One that’s deep pan, crisp and even
My dad fought in the war and survived mustard gas and pepper spray.
He is now classed as a seasoned veteran.
My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.
My girlfriend gave me fifty quid and told me to go out and get something that would make her look sexy.
You should have seen her face when I came home pissed
Today is International Women's Day.
It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready.
There's got to be an online course that I can take to get over my internet addiction
My dog kept chasing people on a bike.
So we took his bike off him.
Then he just sat in the garden and barked all day.
So we gave him his bike back.
Because his bark was worse than his bike.
Couldn't it believe my flat-mate got fired from his job as a road worker for stealing.
Just did not believe it however when I got home the signs were everywhere !!!
I tried to commit suicide yesterday.....I'm not trying that again...it almost killed me.