Wednesday 20th October 2021 - 17:12:15 

The Big Night


Michael is an out of work actor. He can't even get on the news. He goes to his agents office, begging for some work.

His agent says "okay Michael, I've got a bit part for you. It's in the Garrick Theatre, and it's a one liner I'm afraid."

Michael says this is fine, and discovers that his one line is: "Hark, I hear the cannons roar." So, for the rest of the week, when he's shaving, ironing, watching TV, he's saying his line, "Hark I hear the cannons roar, Hark I hear the cannons roar...".

It's the night before his big performance, and he goes out with his friends and gets totally inebriated,and passes out. He wakes up the following day, realises that he has 40 minutes until he's due on stage! So, he's in a fury. He showers as fast as he can, and runs as fast as he can to the theatre. When he gets to the back door, he starts drumming on it and it opens.

"Yes, who are you?"

"Well I'm Hark I hear the cannons roar"

"Holy shit, you'd better get through there pretty damn quick, your on stage in five minutes"!

So he runs up to make-up, throws on his costume and rubs makeup all over his face whilst running down to the side of the stage, but he's on the wrong side, so he sprints as fast as he can to the other side and he is literally thrown onto the stage when there's this sudden almighty bang.

Michael jumps back and screams "Oh my god what the fuck was that"?!

Nicked from --> Rumpleforskin

Quotes for Today:

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.
Mark Twain 

When life hands u lemons, ask for Tequilla and salt!!

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself

The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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