Monday 22nd March 2021 - 10:31:40 

The Budding Actor


The budding actor's agent finally gets him a part. It is only one line, 'Hark I hear a cannon!', but it's the part that could launch his career.

He practices the line over and over again for days before the performance. He can't mess this up - his career could depend on this. He tells his parents and all his friends he has a part in a brand new production and gets them all to come to the opening night.

Finally the day arrives. He arrives at the theater and the security guard at the actors' entrance asks who he is. He boasts proudly "I'm the guy who says 'Hark I hear a cannon!'". To everyone who asks, he grins and says "I'm the guy who says 'Hark, I head a cannon!'" - the makeup crew, the electricians, the set designers, the costume designers, everyone - "I'm the guy who says 'Hark I hear a cannon!'".

The call comes to him to go stage-side and wait for his cue. He stands there repeating his one line over and over again, 'Hark, I hear a cannon!'.

Eventually he gets his cue to go on stage.

Suddenly he hears a loud BANG.

"What the fuck was that?!"

Quotes for Today:

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Albert Einstein 

Opportunity comes but does not linger.
Nepalese proverb 

Pay Your Taxes With A Smile - I tried ... but the lady said, 'Cash Only'

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself

The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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