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The New Oxford Dictionary's Latest Update On Definition Of The Following Words

 

Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Classic : Books which people praise but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest ... except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor : person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Quotes for Today:

Chance favors the prepared mind
Louis Pasteur 


China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
 


Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.
 


¯\_(ツ)_/¯     ¯\_(ツ)_/¯




This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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