Wednesday 30th September 2020 - 00:59:04 

The New Zoo Keeper

 

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. The first is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this, a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show the others who's boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realizing his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.


Moving on to the second job of clearing out the chimpanzee house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do? "Feed them to the lions", he says to himself, "because lions eat anything." He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.


He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked and stung by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lion's cage - because lions eat anything.


Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says, "What's the food like here?"


The other lion turns round and says, "Absolutely brilliant. Today we had fish, chimps with mushy bees."

Quotes for Today:

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
 


Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
 


Sometimes I drink my whiskey neat. Other times I take my tie off and leave my shirt out.
 

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself
¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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