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The Time Of Reckoning

 

A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks'?

St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move'.

'Oh', said the man. 'Whose clock is that'?

'That's Mother Teresa's', replied St. Peter. 'The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie'.

'Incredible', said the man. 'And whose clock is that one'?

St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life'.

'Where's Gordon Brown's clock?' asked the man.

St Peter replied, 'Jesus has it in his office. He uses it as a ceiling fan'.

Quotes for Today:

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.
Mark Twain 


When life hands u lemons, ask for Tequilla and salt!!
 


When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
 


¯\_(ツ)_/¯     ¯\_(ツ)_/¯




This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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