The Tree Hugging Lady
In a panic to make her escape, she slid down the tree, getting many splinters in the crotch of her designer shorts.
In considerable pain she hurried to the nearest Doctor, told him, she was an environmentalist, and how she got all the splinters. The Doctor listened with great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her.
She waited for three hours before the Doctor reappeared.
The angry woman demanded: "What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her: "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forestry Service, National Parks and Wildlife Service, Country Fire Authority, and Conservation and Land Management, before I could remove "Old Growth Timber" from a recreational area....... I am sorry but they turned me down."