The Two Campers
The first Newfie turns to the second and says, "You've gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer."
"No way," says the second. "By the time I get back, you will have eaten all the food."
"I promise I won't," says the Newfie. "Just hurry!"
Nine full days pass and there's still no sign of the second Newfie. Exasperated and starving, the first Newfie digs into the sandwiches.
Suddenly, the second Newfie pops out from behind a rock and yells, "I knew it! I'm not freaking going!"