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There Was This Lonely Old Lady Who...


A little old lady named Hannah checked into a motel on her 70th birthday, but she was a bit lonely.

She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages".

She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a quarter off his well-oiled bottom...

She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. She give him a call.

"Good evening, Ma'am, how may I help you"? Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!

Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one.

No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.

We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I'm ready!! Now how does that sound"?

He said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line".

Contributor: Mike

Quotes for Today:

Bart, just remember, trying is the first step to failure.
Homer Simpson 

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Beauty is equal parts flesh and imagination: we imbue it with our dreams, saturate it with our longings.
Nancy Etcoff, Survival of the Prettiest 

This can save your bacon


The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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