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Things Not To Say Before, After Or During Sex

 

Got any penicillin?

You're almost as good as my ex!

Is that blood on the headboard?

When is this supposed to feel good?

You're good enough to do this for a living!

Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...

On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?

So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!

And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!

It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!

(holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!

Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?


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Quotes for Today:

Life is a comedy to those who think, and a tragedy for those who feel.
 


Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance
 


Life must be dedicated to a destiny, in order to have a meaning.
Jose Ortega Y Gasset 


¯\_(ツ)_/¯     ¯\_(ツ)_/¯




This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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