Things Not To Say Before, After Or During Sex
You're almost as good as my ex!
Is that blood on the headboard?
When is this supposed to feel good?
You're good enough to do this for a living!
Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
(holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?