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Things Only A Mom Can Teach

 

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until we get home".

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home"!

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you ... Don't talk back to me"!

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me".

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way".

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job".

7. My Mother taught me ESP...
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold"?

8. My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me".

9. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up".

10. My Mother taught me about SEX....
"How do you think you got here"?

11. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just like your father".

12. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born? In a barn"?

13. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand".

14. And my all time favorite... JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like".

Quotes for Today:

To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves...let us be above such transparent egotism
Will Durant 


Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 


Toe: A part of the foot used to find furniture in the dark. --
Rilla May  

This can save your bacon
¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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