The Fastest Joke Site on the Web
Content precedes design.
Design in the absence of content is not design, it's decoration.

Thought You Might Be Interested In A Glimpse Of The Future.

 

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. (Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.)

This is how it manifests:

I decided to wash my car. As I started toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take out my checkbook that is on the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the den, so I go to my desk where I find the bottle of soda that I had been drinking.

To look for my checks, first I need to push the soda aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

I see that the soda is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the soda, a vase of flower on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the soda down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day; the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm bottle of soda sitting on the counter, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem and I'll try to get some help for it but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.

Boy it's tough getting old . . .

Quotes for Today:

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
 


When the sun comes up, I have morals again
Elayne Boosler 


When women kiss it always reminds me of prize fighter shaking hands.
 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

Fuelled by: CodeIgniter - ver: 3.1.8  Debug: 54.196.47.145 / 755,464Mb / 04:01:45 / 200 / No Errors