Tuesday 18th December 2018 - 17:22:19 

Three Tomatoes Were Out For A Walk

 

It was a fine and brisk autumn day when a family of tomatoes decided to take a walk: father, mother and their adorable only son.

The son, through no fault of his own, was naturally smaller than his parents, and so continually fell behind.

The father's sun-ripened mind saw it as a character flaw, if not a studied insult--deliberate lollygagging and he would take no such insolence from the fruit of his loins. In a towering, thundering rage, he stormed back to the boy and with a roar of "You are no son of mine"! and a mighty stomp, crushed the little lad into the pavement. Red tomatoe juice squirting everywhere, splashing on the father's face, boots, sidewalk and even the wooden fence along the street.

Shrieking in agony, the child tried desperately to free himself, too addled by the pain to try reasoning with his parent.

His father was inflamed even more so he ground his foot onto the cement, as though doing something of no more import than crushing out a used cigarette. He continued grinding until the child was well and truly smashed flat with the remains strewn across the pavement.

Little baby tomatoe with agonising expressions and shrieks, shattered the peaceful illusion and finally, mercifully, the screams died out

The mother, too shocked by the horror to have spoken up before now, she dropped to her knees, weeping and sobbed, "What have you done?! Why?! How could you do such a horrible thing to anyone, let alone your son?! Your only son..."

Father tomatoe turned around, his face now placid and as if it was the most reasonable thing in the world, said, "He was falling behind. He needed to ketchup".

Quotes for Today:

Fashion is all about eventually becoming naked.
Unknown  


Freaking intolerant BS! (man does intolerance piss me off!)
 


Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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