Tommy Cooper - Dont' Jump Off The Roof Dad
His boss had been driving him mad.
The kids were all shouting, the dog bit him too
His dinner was nothing but boiled over stew.
I guess it was then he decided
Up to the rooftop he'd go
He was about to jump off when
The kids started howling below
'Don't jump off the roof, Dad
You'll make a hole in the yard
Mother's just planted petunias
The weeding and seeding was hard
If you must end it all, Dad
Won't you please give us a break
Just take a walk down the park, Dad
And there you can jump in the lake.'