Saturday 18th January 2020 - 07:40:59 

Two Martians

 

Two Martians land in the middle of the night in a closed gas station.

They get out of their space ship. The Martians go up to a gas pump. One says to the other," I think these are Earth people." "Take me to your leader!" says the first Martian.

No response.

The second Martian whispers to his partner. "I don't think we should screw with this one."

The first Martian says "Don't worry. Take me to your leader or we are going to blow you to kingdom come!!!"

No response.

With that, the first Martian takes out his laser gun and zaps the gas pump. It blows up and so does the gas station and the Martians are thrown into the air and land in a tree.

The second Martian says to the other, "I TOLD YOU, WE SHOULDN'T FUCK WITH A GUY WHO COULD WRAP HIS DICK AROUND HIS NECK AND STICK IT IN HIS EAR!

Quotes for Today:

We work to become, not to acquire.
Elbert Hubbard 


What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner.
Anonymous 


When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.
Herman Hesse  

Build your own satellite and have it launched into Space.

AmbaSat-1 is a tiny Space satellite kit that you launch yourself
¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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