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Two Men Sat At The Bar

 

Two men at a bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past couple of hours and were pretty drunk when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner.

One says to the other, "jeez, i'd really like to dance with that girl."

The other man replies, "well go ahead and ask her, don't be a chicken shit."

So the man approaches the lovely woman and says, "excuse me. would you be so kind as to dance with me?"

Seeing the man is totally drunk the woman says, "i'm sorry. right now i'm contemplating on matrimony, and i'd rather sit than dance."

So the man humbly returns to his friend "so what did she say?" asks the friend.

The drunk responded, "she said she's constipated on macaroni, and would rather shit in her pants."

Quotes for Today:

When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.
Herman Hesse  


When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.
Mark Twain 


When life hands u lemons, ask for Tequilla and salt!!
 


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This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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