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Which One Has Happened To You?

 

How To Turn A Man Down...


HE. " can I buy you a drink? "
SHE. " Actually I'd rather have the money "


HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!!!


HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice!!!


HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share!!!


HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!


HE: Your face must turn a few heads!
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs!!!


HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!


HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?


HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!


HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?


HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!


Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.


Man: Haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.


Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.


Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.


Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.


Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.


Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.


Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

Quotes for Today:

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
George Deukmejian  


The Fifth Law of Pipes: The outside diameter must exceed the inside diameter; otherwise the hole will be on the outside of the pipe.
 


The funniest thing about this particular signature is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything it's to late to stop reading it
 

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯



The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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