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Why Did The Computer Chicken Cross The Road?

 

Apple Chicken
No need to cross the road, let’s make the other side come this way. Think Different.


Assembler Chicken:
First, it builds the road ......


C Chicken:
It crosses the road without looking both ways.


C++ Chicken:
The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you' d simply refer to him on the other side.


COBOL Chicken:
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING


CodeIgniter:
Version: 001:
It didn’t, the other side was PHP5 only

Version: 002:
The CI chicken crossed the road only after it completed a new “road validation” class with functions to determine the distance and speed of any existing traffic both PHP5-bound and PHP4-bound.
It then solidly beat CakeChicken in every benchmark.
Of course, all the other framework chickens that could only validate for PHP5-bound traffic became PHP4-bound roadkill.
Thus, the CI chicken is now able to cross all PHP roads, whereas many other PHP based chickens can only cross the NEWER built PHP5 roads.
Discussion: CodeIgniter:


Cray Chicken:
Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.


Delphi Chicken:
The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.


Gopher Chicken:
Tried to run but got beaten by the Web chicken.


Intel Pentium Chicken:
The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.


Internet Explorer 5.5 chicken:
The cross_road property is not supported in this version. Please use the tunnel_under property as a temporary work-around if you absolutely must move the chicken to the other side of the road. You must provide your own _spoon subclass for the tunneling protocol.


Internet Explorer 6 Chicken:
“Error 404, Road can not be found”


Iomega Chicken:
The chicken should have 'backed up' before crossing.


Java Chicken:
If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.)


Linux Chicken:
Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!
sudo -crossroad root/country/road/local_road/


Mac Chicken:
No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it how to cross the road.


Machine language:
01110100 01101111 00100000 01100111 01100101 01110100 00100000 01110100
01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101111 01110100
01101000 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110011 01101001 01100100 01100101


Microsoft Chicken:
Before crossing the road, please make sure you have the latest updates for both windows and your Anti virus. Also make sure that you have Silverlight installed.


Newton Chicken:
Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.


OOP Chicken:
It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.


OS/2 Chicken:
It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.


Microsoft's Chicken:
It's already on both sides of the road. What's more its just bought the road.


Windows 95 Chicken:
You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but when you cook it still tastes like........ chicken.


Quantum Logic Chicken:
The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.


VB Chicken:
USHighways! <TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)


XP Chicken Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.


The Longhorn Chicken had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.


The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.


The Vesta Chicken was eaten by my old friend 'Mad Mick'


Xbox 360 Chicken
You can cross the road, but it will cost you 800 microsoft points.


Xbox 360 Chicken 2
Achievement unlocked: “You crossed the road”


¯\_(ツ)_/¯     ¯\_(ツ)_/¯



This can save your bacon
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Quotes for Today:

After all, in the words of the Swahili saying, "It is not what name others call you that matters, but what name you respond to that truly determines who you are."
 


Ah, life without nanny.
 


All generalizations are false.
 


The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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