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Why Jesus Was An Aussie

 

Proof that Jesus was Australian:

* He wore thongs.
* He was a chippy, who like all good union members didn't work on Sundays.
* His favourite past times were fishing, camping, going 4-wheel donkeying, and most of his mates were fishermen.
* He seemed to know a lot of prostitutes.
* His mates all had nicknames: The Rock, The Doubter, Simon Peter, The Baptist, so on and so forth.
* The only time he went to church as a young bloke he got into a fight.
* He was a champion surfer, it was like he could walk on water.
* He did a mean barbeque, 5000 people rock up, no wuckers throw a few fresh caught fish on the barbie, some buns and a bit of mum's potato salad (it's in the Gospel of Thomas, trust me) and bob's your uncle.
* No one is exactly sure where he was earning his quid from but he had a mate in the tax office so it was all sweet.
* And to top it all off, he turned water into alcohol and if that isn't an Australian miracle I don't know what is!

Quotes for Today:

He that will make a good use of any part of his life must allow a large part of it to recreation.
John Locke  


He used statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts; for support rather than illumination.
Andrew Lang (1844-1912) 


Hindsight is an exact science.
 


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This can save your bacon

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The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

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