Wisdom From Calvin And Hobbes
In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help.
Its no use! Everybody gets good enemies except me.
What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?
As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.
This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen ...
I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing.
I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it's great to be male!
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information
I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.
Reality continues to ruin my life.
Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.
I understand my tests are popular reading in the teachers' lounge.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
Where do we keep all our chainsaws, Mom?