Friday 17th August 2018 - 22:35:47 

Yorkshire Jokes Update 001

 

There was a school hall full of Yorkshire women all being given an exercise lesson by Jane Fonda.

"O.K., ladies. Hands on thighs!"

As one, every woman moved her hands and a voice at the back said "What good's that, then? I can't see 'er now!"






A man goes to the vet because his cat is poorly.

The vet says "Is it a tom?"?

The man says "Nay lad, 'ah've got it 'ere in t'basket!"






A couple are playing 'I spy' in the kitchen of their home somewhere in Yorkshire.

'I spy with my little eye something beginning with T' said the husband.

"Tea pot said the wife." 'Nay Lass!'

"Tea towel." 'Nay Lass!'

"Toaster." 'Nay Lass!' he said, drumming his fingers on the work top.

"Oh I don't know" she said at long last "I give in"

'It's easy' he said. 'It's t'oven!'







A Yorkshire farmer went into a jewellers shop in Harrogate. He was constantly chewing. The salesgirl said, "Can I help you Sir?"

"Aye" he said, still chewing. "I'd like one 'o them theer rings".

"Yes Sir, wedding or engagement?"

"Wedding, tha nos", he said, chewing constantly.

"Gold or Silver?", said the salesgirl, watching him chewing.

"Gold", he said.

"Eighteen Carats?", said the girl.

"Nay lass", he said. "It's toffee and it's stuck in me teeth".





Quotes for Today:

Nine out of ten people think they are above average. The rest are in therapy.
 


Not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing!
 


Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
Sir James M. Barrie  

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

We try to bust a gut with our funny, Yo Mama, Redneck, lawyer, animal, relationship and crap jokes.

You only live once!   So make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet everyday, seeking validation from strangers.

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