Monday 9th of January 2006
Bill Cosby Quotes
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you.
As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by "survival of the fittest."
Children today know more about sex than I or my father did.
Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.
Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
Gray hair is God's graffiti.
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.
My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.
My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow.
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.
Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.
People will frighten you about a graduation...They use words you don't hear often... "And we wish you Godspeed." It is a warning, Godpeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.
Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.
That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.
The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.
The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.
When you become senile, you won't know it.
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.