Thursday 23rd May 2019 - 09:37:43 

Bubba Knows The Front Of A Tree

 

Bubba the Redneck from Georgia decides to travel across the south to Virginia to see God's country. When he gets to Franklin, he likes the place so much that he decides to stay. But first he must find a job!!!!

Bubba walks into an international paper company office and fills out an application as an experienced log inspector. It's his lucky day!!! They just happen to be looking for someone, but first, the log foreman takes him for a ride into the forest in the company pickup truck to see how much he knows.

The foreman stops the truck on the side of the road and points at a tree "see that tree over there, I want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains".

Bubba the redneck promptly answers, "that thar's a whitepine, 383 board feet of lumber in 'er".

The foreman is impressed!!! He puts the truck in motion and stops about a mile down the road. He points at another tree through the passenger window and asks the same question. This time, it's a bigger tree of a different class.

Bubba replies "that's a loblolly pine and she's got about 456 clear board feet".

The foreman is really impressed with the good ol' boy, he has been quick and got the answers right without using a calculator!!!!

One more test. They drive a little further down the road, and the foreman stops again.. This time, he points across the road through his driver side window and says, "and what about that one"?

Before the foreman finishes pointing, the Bubba says, "white oak, 242 board feet at best".

The foreman spins the truck around and heads back to the office a little ticked off because he thinks the red neck is smarter than he is. As they near the office, another foreman stops the truck and asks Bubba to step outside.

He hands him a piece of chalk and tells him, "see that tree over there"? "I want you to mark an x on the front of that tree!!"

The foreman thinks to himself, "idiot, how would he know which is the front of the tree"?

When Bubba reaches the tree, he goes around it in a circle while looking at the ground. He then reaches up and places a big white 'X' on the trunk.

He walks back to the foreman and hands him the chalk. "that thar's the front", Bubba says.

The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, "how in the hell do you know that's the front of the tree"?

The good ol' boy looks down at his feet, while rubbing the toe of his left boot cleaning it in the gravel and replies, "cuz somebody took a s**t behind it"!

Needless to say he got the job and started the very same day.

Quotes for Today:

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
 


I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true - I no longer know how to use my telephone.
Bjarne Stroustrup 


I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
Harry Truman  

This can save your bacon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯




The idea is to die young as late as possible

Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long.

Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-)

Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk.

Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many".

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